Josh Wagar’s Testimony
I have been asked to share my burden with you. Normally, for me, it would be very hard to separate my burden from my call. However, they are two very different things. I believe that in reality, the burden is the fuel for the fire that we could define as “the call.” A calling is what Jeremiah expressed in Jeremiah 20:9 when he exclaimed, “Then said I, I will not make mention of Him, nor speak any more in His name. But His Word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay.” A calling is something that we must do, and if we are not doing it, we feel that we will die. Everyone has a calling. Some people have a calling to a certain people group like the Chuukese. Some people have a calling to work with bus kids, while other people may have a calling to minister to older folks. Some people are called to the people that they interact with at work. If you are saved and breathing, you have a calling. What is the one thing in your life, right now, that if you stopped doing, life would not be worth the living? That is your call.
Now, a burden is different. A burden is something you can lose if you are not careful. Yes, even a missionary can lose his burden. Jeremiah did. Jeremiah’s burden disappeared for a bit. It was stamped out by the world and the pressures of life and ministry. Because he lost his “fuel,” he tried to stop obeying his call. However, he could not. I want to be transparent with you. Sometimes, burdens are easy to lose. We get our priorities out of order and let other burdens of life outweigh the one burden that God has put on our heart. Do you recall what it is like when you go out on bus visitation every single week, and it has been a while since you have seen anything truly amazing happen? It is right then, in that moment, that we start thinking of all of the pressures surrounding us: finances, family, job, church obligations, etc. Then for a moment, however brief it may be, we lose that burden and we think, “So what if a new kid does not come? Why does it even matter?” But then, that calling, that relentless, unceasing calling comes back into play. At first, we do not want to obey it. Then, as God continues to tug at our heart, we cannot help but regain our burden.
Burdens are tricky things. We can only have a true burden when we get our eyes off of self and put them up to Jesus Christ in the partnership of praise. I am struggling with this. I have to be in Chuuk. That is my calling, my passion, and my drive. When I let that get in the way of my God, I lose my burden. Chuuk becomes a job – something I have to do out of obligation rather than commitment. However, when I focus my attention back on God, I am reminded of my call and ultimately the burden from the Lord that drives me.
I have three burdens today:
First, I am burdened to see God work. Psalm 63 says, “Oh God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land where no water is; to see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen in the sanctuary.” I have grown tired of hearing how we live in a supposed “Laodicean age,” and we just let that be an excuse for our complacency. They just cannot be reached because we are in that Laodicean age! That is simply not true. Since when did God stop showing His power? I am ready to see the world reached for Christ, for churches to get back on fire for God, for Christians to be revived, and for God to do a work in my heart. I am ready to see God’s power and glory in a personal and real way every day. I am ready to see God take these 50 insignificant islands in the middle of nowhere and transform them for His glory. I am burdened to see Him use Sarah and me in a way that has never been done. Why should He not? We are setting out for a work that is 100% impossible by all rules and statistics. I am burdened to see God break through and throw those rules in the garbage. I am burdened to continue fighting complacency in my own life and to see God move and take me and revive me. With every fiber of my being, I am burdened for a genuine, personal, and real revival in my soul. I am simply burdened to be used of God. I know that I am called. I know that I have a purpose. If I can put it this way, I am burdened to regain my burden – to live life to the fullest extent that I can to please God. Again, I simply want to be transparent. I wish I were this perfect model of a missionary, someone like Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Adoniram Judson, or any other of the greats. But, I am not. I am burdened, not to live up to what I think their expectations would be, but to have the relationship with the Lord that they did. God did impossible things through these men. I am burdened to be that kind of a man – a man who’s character stands the test of time, not because I am great, but because I know my God and I am able to stay close to Him. Of all of my burdens, this is the greatest.
Second, I am burdened for the church. We live in a day of wide-spread complacency. A day in which many people think that if they are not called to preach, then they must not have much to do. My burden is to show you that God still uses the church, and therefore, if you are part of the church, you have a purpose. In Mark 2, the Bible relates a story about four men that brought a lame man to Christ. It took four men to get one man to the Master. They never fought for a title, tried to be recognized, or wanted fame. In fact, we do not even know their names. They simply wanted to get someone to Jesus. The Bible says that when Jesus saw their faith – the faith of all five men – He did the miracle. It takes more than a missionary to get the Gospel out. It takes a team. We all have a corner of the cot for which we are responsible. Not all of it involves money only. I am burdened for the church to see that missions is more than a dollar in the plate. It is time, effort, love, and work all poured out. Missions is the act of taking God’s glory to somewhere that it has not previously existed. Therefore, missions is across the street, in the next cubical, kneeling at night with your kids, or in Micronesia. I am burdened for the church to arise and get back into the battle. Too many people and organizations are simply trying to drag the cot to where it is supposed to be rather than working together to lift and carry. Money never stopped Jesus. I am burdened to see the church gear up for one last good fight before the Lord returns, rather than seeing it continue to hunker down like a scared child in the night and just wait out till the Lord’s return. Now, I am not saying every church is like this, and I am not saying your church is like this. I am saying that if we do not guard our hearts against this type of thinking, we all have the potential to stop working together as a team, as an army, and simply go into the coasting mode. What if the men that brought the lame man to Jesus did not have faith? They probably would not have even begun to pick up that cot. This lack of action would have resulted in the lame man never encountering Jesus. Lost folks do not normally come to Jesus on their own. They need help. I am burdened to see the church rise up and meet the need.
My final burden is obvious. About two months ago, Typhoon Maysak devastated the islands of Chuuk. Much was destroyed and lives were lost. What if we had been there? What if we had had the opportunity to witness to the ones who died? What if we had another established church there that could have reached out and touched the lives of the affected ones? We were not there. We were here. Now, I know that obviously this is where God has us at the moment. However, I cannot help but be reminded about how Chuuk is where we are supposed to be. Sarah and I are burdened for our people. We are burdened, not only to get the Gospel out, but to disciple and see people grow. My heart is heavy with the burden of getting to Chuuk. We are not great people, but we are willing to be used of the Lord. I am burdened to see what God has in store and what He will do there.
I am burdened for a man named Dwight. He is just like you and me. He works as a security guard as well as a municipal police officer. At night, he goes fishing in order to provide for his family. He works hard trying to do the right things. However, no matter how noble or sincere he is, Dwight is on his way to Hell because he refused to accept the Gospel. Dwight, along with thousands of other Chuukese people, is lost. The reality of it is, however, that many of them have probably never had the opportunity to hear the Gospel like Dwight. I am burdened for an almost forgotten people. Are they my calling? Yes. But even more so, they are my burden. The fuel to my fire. We are compelled to go to Chuuk to preach the Gospel, but if we were not burdened for Dwight, and others like him, what would be the point of the calling? It would be empty. What is our ultimate purpose? It goes back to the first burden – to see the power and glory of God working in places where it has never yet had the opportunity to work.