Family Fellowship Week is about more than just preaching! Our desire is for it to be a place of fellowship where we can feed your soul, familiarize you with our staff, and allow you to focus on our commitments to each other. Darleen Whetstone spoke to the ladies and was accompanied by Rebecca Rinard, who illustrated the lesson with chalk art. Bill Wingard and Danny Whetstone gave a session on Ministry Principles. We also had a Q&A time where Danny Whetstone and John O’Malley answered questions from the audience.
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Principles and Practices, Part One
Bill Wingard
Principles and Practices, Part Two
Danny Whetstone
Note: The first few minutes of this recording are missing.
Two Peas in a Pod
Darleen Whetstone
God promises that if we follow Him, He will make us into what He desires. The disciples followed straightway. As ladies, too often we do not want to follow until we have proof the plan will work out. We must trust that He is at work. Two peas in a pod spend time together and are very much alike. Our relationship with Christ must be the same. Our priorities must be right. We can’t see the whole picture but must trust that God is in control. Our prayers must be constant. They should include thanksgiving as well as asking for blessings. We must trust that God has a plan. 
His plan for each of us is unique. Don’t try to do His job, just do yours. Sow the seed and let the Holy Spirit work and give the increase. When our priorities are in line and our prayers are going up, the plan God has for us will bring pleasure to Him.
Ministry Principles
Bill Wingard and Danny Whetstone
Principles vs. Rules
- We prefer to operate by principles, not by rules. There are settings where rules are needed. But when we are working with adults, principles should be sufficient.
- If God called you to this level of ministry to go out on your own, we trust you have developed the maturity to get started. We want you to carry out your ministry as best you can under God’s direction.
- Leaders have witnessed what you have not. It will save you heartache if you pay attention to the principles they have lived by.
- Rules rarely solve a problem. If someone is cantankerous there is not much you can do about it.
- Some people need rules, and there are agencies that will give them to you. We desire to work with mature adults.
Principles of Family and Ministry
- Extremes are never good regardless of which direction they take.
- We stand on the KJV, but we don’t talk and fuss about it all the time.
- Ornery people are like egg-sucking dogs. You can’t break them of it. Two can’t walk together unless they are agreed.
- Two people working together can get more done than 100 who are divisive.
- If you have to demand subjection as a husband, father, or pastor, you likely are not loving as Christ loved.
- If you have to demand your position, you likely are not good at it.
- Live a balanced life between family and ministry.
- Enjoy life. God didn’t give it to you to persecute you. Laughter is ok and is good medicine.
- Don’t worry too much about what to put in a prayer letter. That should not be the motivation for your ministry.
- Those who require much of others in the end often prove they don’t require a great deal of themselves. We bark the loudest when we try to hide what we dislike in ourselves.
- Lead by principle, but by all means, be a leader.
Principles of Dress
- Modesty is always the key.
- Modesty is sometimes defined differently. We may have liberty but should never cause offense.
- A wise person knows who they work with. We must be all things to all people. Don’t aggravate a relationship by enforcing your liberty.
- It is better to accommodate another and not offend, so the work of the Lord can go on.
- We don’t delineate a great deal. We expect your pastor to do so. If you have specific questions we suggest you ask your pastor.
- If your liberty goes beyond where others are willing to go there is no cause to flaunt your liberty.
- You may be able to do as you want, but why would you want to offend?
- When you consider where to draw your line, consider others as well and respect them in your decision.
Principles of Godly Communication
- Always be gracious, kind, and forgiving.
- You don’t have to say every thought that comes to your mind.
- Be careful on social media and in the pulpit. Often it is not that God put it on your heart, but that you have it in your mind and want to get it off your chest.
- There are many ways to interpret a few sentences on social media. Absent of voice inflection, the look on your face, etc., it is easy to be misunderstood.
- Your first response to criticism is probably wrong. Let it rest overnight before you send a reply. Your epistle may need to be reduced to a sentence or two.
Principles of Testimony
- On our best days, we groan too much. Everything won’t be right most of the time.
- If you spend $20 at a restaurant, is what you will say about their mistake worth the testimony you will leave behind? Too often we say what we think because we desire compensation.
- What you do and say reflects on the Lord, your family, your church, and the entire body of Christ.
- Be careful what you say. If you get it wrong you won’t have peace until you go back and fix it. So do it right the first time.
- Be careful when trying to answer too many texts or emails at once. The speed of communication can catch up to you if you send the wrong message!
- On the day you feel most furious, wait a day before responding.
Principles of Preparation
- Regardless of whether you plan to retire, you will have lots of expenses when you get old. Be prepared.
- You are young and popular now. Don’t wait until you are old and forgotten to plan for your family.
- Owning a home is the greatest insurance and security a wife can have.
- It is just as spiritual to take care of your family when you are old as it is when you are young.
- The disciples walked by sight when Christ was here. They saw Him provide taxes and multiply bread for their dinner. But now that He is gone we must live by faith.
- We are responsible to make provisions. If we provide not for our own we have denied the faith.
- Evacuation preparation is more needed today than ever.
Questions and Answers
Danny Whetstone and John O’Malley
Note: there is no audio available for this session
What steps can we take to on Social Media to increase our exposure?
- Create good content and people will share it. It can take years.
- Some have said to be successful at something you must first spend 10,000 hours doing it.
- Find someone with a good social media presence, and get them to share your posts.
- Great content will eventually be found.
Is World Wide open to accepting more missionaries to the deaf?
- Absolutely! We are thrilled to have the Dundons with us.
- We are open to help people wherever the Lord leads them.
What should you do when you believe a church has dropped your support?
- Confirm that the support is stopped, and not just late.
- Tracking your monthly support list can help in this area.
- Ask your pastor’s guidance.
- Start with the assumption that grace should be applied.
- Give grace and seek to clarify. Perhaps after 2 or 3 months of no support, contact the pastor and ask if there is a problem of which you need to be aware.
- Remember that a church votes to support you and can also vote to stop supporting you. They do not owe you anything.
What would you do if your sending church makes it difficult to maintain a close relationship?
- Start with yourself. What can you do to be available at the level the church desires? Ask yourself what you have or have not done to cause the relationship to not be what you desire.
- Ask your pastor what relationship he desires with you.
- Keep the communication open. It is not just the pastor’s responsibility to communicate with you; you should also communicate with him.
- Ask your pastor if you can add another level to your relationship.
- Learn how to express your desire without being needy. Let the pastor shepherd your needs.
- Give your pastor your calendar.
- Realize we are all different. Your pastor may be more or less chatty than you.
- World Wide is collaborating on a book for sending pastors, called Shepherding a Missionary. We hope to make it available later this year.
What is World Wide’s position on music?
- We like it!
- Among our board members, you will find a wide variety. Not contemporary or country. Some are very conservative and some are more southern gospel. We are at home with anything in between.
- You don’t have to answer for another church’s music. Find what you are comfortable with and use it in your ministry.
- Don’t tell another pastor what to do in his church.
Where can those on deputation find out about missions conferences?
- Join our GroupMe conversation for deputation missionaries. Contact Jeremy Lockhart if you are not in that group.
- Use the IFBMT app. It has a collaborative calendar where people can share dates.
- Victory Baptist Press has an email list that often includes upcoming meetings.
- Talk to others on deputation. Your fellow missionaries are great resources.
How do you handle the awkward pause when you are out to eat with a pastor and the waiter asks if it is all together?
- Assume nobody owes you anything.
- Pause briefly to defer to the host out of etiquette; but if he delays, offer to pay. It’s ok to be a giver.
- Give the opportunity for the host to decide, but don’t assume the host will pay. Always be prepared to pay for yourself.
- I deserve hell. I’m not going. Anything after that is gravy.
What do you do if you visit a church and they do not contact you to tell you if they will support you?
- Accept the reality that they likely will not.
- They probably won’t contact you to tell you they are not supporting you. If they are going to support you, they know how to reach you.
- Wait at least three months before asking. It can take time for funds to start coming to the office.
- Pray every day that God will advise them whether or not to support you.
- Send a postcard to the pastor. Don’t seek support. Just let them know you are praying for them personally. Be careful not to use this as a marketing ploy.
- Send a letter to churches you have been in. Indicate that you are at 80% and would appreciate if they could reconsider supporting you.